{"id":106,"date":"2018-11-27T23:39:13","date_gmt":"2018-11-27T23:39:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hojnotes.com\/?p=106"},"modified":"2018-11-27T23:39:13","modified_gmt":"2018-11-27T23:39:13","slug":"the-labradoodle-tree","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/2018\/11\/27\/the-labradoodle-tree\/","title":{"rendered":"The Labradoodle Tree"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve bought our Christmas tree at Scottsdale Farms the last few years, ever since the Lions Club stopped selling discount trees in a strip mall parking lot between Cici\u2019s Pizza and Performance Bicycle.<\/span><\/p>\n

Per its website, Scottsdale Farms is a 65-acre plant nursery and 12,000 square foot barn where they house and sell furniture and home d\u00e9cor, local art, clothing, jewelry, and other seasonal stuff like candles, ornaments, artificial trees. \u00a0It\u2019s a grand place.<\/span><\/p>\n

Standing in the \u2018Enchanted Tree Forest\u2019 just outside the big barn and a few steps from the penned chickens (Do Not Touch \u2013 They Peck) and pigs, a helper told us that the $$$ tree my wife thought was nice and full was the \u2018Labradoodle\u2019 of trees.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you allergic to Christmas trees?\u201d the helper asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I am,\u201d my wife said enthusiastically.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen this is the tree for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I half-expected the helper to lift the tree, drop it, to show how all the needles would refrain from falling off, <\/span>not<\/span><\/i> forming a ring of needles around the base of the tree.<\/span><\/p>\n

This was news to me – my wife\u2019s Xmas tree allergy – surprising me so much, I laughed at the whole notion: non-allergenic trees. \u00a0Preposterous!<\/span><\/p>\n

I thought some more. \u00a0A Christmas tree is, after all, a tree; trees release pollen; pollen makes you sneeze; therefore, a Christmas tree makes you sneeze. \u00a0This is the kind of not-so-stunning revelation that makes me feel allergic to smart.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then again, whoa. \u00a0Am I to believe trees release pollen even after they\u2019re cut? \u00a0Let’s say yes, isn\u2019t it greatly reduced? Besides, it\u2019s nearly December, hardly pollen season.<\/span><\/p>\n

Who\u2019s breeding these trees, documenting their allergenic traits? \u00a0Or did I just fall prey to Sales & Marketing 101? A designer tree is pricier, so it must be better, more appealing than a humdrum, un-designed, pollen-dropping, sneeze-inducing normal tree. \u00a0Right?<\/span><\/p>\n

The man credited for cross-breeding the first Labradoodle deeply regrets it. \u00a0He tells the story of how the first Labradoodle came to be here, if you\u2019re interested:\u00a0Psychology Today – Labradoodle Article<\/a>\u00a0.<\/span><\/p>\n

His regrets include, but are not limited to: coats that still produce allergies, eye problems, hip and elbow problems, epilepsy, fits, untrainable dogs, crazy dogs \u2013 all still being sold at top dollar by unethical \u2018backyard breeders\u2019. \u00a0Ultimately, a diminishment of value for pure breeds in favor of a marketing term: designer dogs.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Labradoodle of firs (I\u2019ve narrowed it down to Fraser, Noble, or Nordmann) is now standing tall after one day of listing slightly as viewed from one particular angle. \u00a0With Cheryl\u2019s help, I loosened the tree stand\u2019s screws, repositioned the fir, then re-tightened the screws. Day two, still upright, darn near vertical.<\/span><\/p>\n

It looks great, so robust and full it practically engulfs and hides the ornaments.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was just about to think the $$$ worth it when my wife asks if I could smell the tree.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t smell anything either,\u201d she said, disappointed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Did I mention what my wife wants for Christmas? \u00a0A dog.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve bought our Christmas tree at Scottsdale Farms the last few years, ever since the Lions Club stopped selling discount trees in a strip mall parking lot between Cici\u2019s Pizza and Performance Bicycle. Per its website, Scottsdale Farms is a 65-acre plant nursery and 12,000 square foot barn where they house and sell furniture and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=106"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":111,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106\/revisions\/111"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}