{"id":247,"date":"2019-03-28T09:34:58","date_gmt":"2019-03-28T09:34:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hojnotes.com\/?p=247"},"modified":"2019-03-29T09:02:14","modified_gmt":"2019-03-29T09:02:14","slug":"star-student","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/2019\/03\/28\/star-student\/","title":{"rendered":"Star Student"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. <\/em><\/p>The Town Mouse and The Country Mouse, Aesop’s Fables<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s 7:05am, in a strange urban neighborhood, so I reluctantly valet unsure of my cash.  In the clubhouse lobby, well-heeled people mingle under a bright chandelier.  Kitchen staff in formalwear do not make eye contact as they pad past on Persian rugs bearing stainless trays of steaming eggs and onion.  Silverware clinks in the dining room.  I peek in, looking for my student and his parents, and see black linens set on white tablecloth.  My suede bucks are a breed apart from all the high-sheen leather.  I\u2019m less comfortable than I should be in corduroy jacket and elbow patches, the not-so-relaxed fit of a public educator.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Introverts feel \u201cjust right\u201d with less stimulation, as when they solve a crossword puzzle or read a book.  Extroverts enjoy the extra bang that comes from activities like meeting new people.<\/em><\/p>Quiet, Susan Cain<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I spot my name-tag sticker arrayed on a table.  Correct spelling, small font, it lacks a title or school.  Too much white space.  I peel the sticker and scan the lobby for clues where to stick it.  Standing in a corner, the Groucho Marx line creeps in, \u2018Please accept my resignation.  I don\u2019t care to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I consider a seat alone in the dining room when a Rotarian approaches – a dapper gent in a bow tie and navy blazer, a gold pin on the lapel – and asks, \u201cParent or teacher?\u201d  A platter of mimosas would be nice, I think, a time I would\u2019ve grabbed a flute with each hand.  He continues, \u201cBeen here before?  Seems half are first-timers,\u201d his own pre-breakfast polling results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026 many high-reactives become writers or pick other intellectual vocations where \u2018you\u2019re in charge: you close the door, pull down the shades and do your work.  You\u2019re protected from encountering unexpected things.\u2019<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

On this particular morning, the Midtown Atlanta Rotary Club and PAGE (Professional Association of Georgia Educators) are gathered at the Ansley Golf Clubhouse for their annual recognition of the Fulton County seniors – STAR students – who scored highest on the SAT at their high school, and also ranked top ten (or ten percent) GPA in their graduating class.  Each school is represented by a student and each student selects a teacher.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The dapper Rotarian asks about our budget.  Our budget was once supplemented by PTO money for teacher grants, the program ending abruptly for reasons unexplained years ago.  I miss it, having benefitted to the tune of $400 of physics lab equipment annually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I bring up none of this, but say I\u2019m fortunate to serve in a supportive community, then add, \u201cMy commute is twenty minutes.  On foot.\u201d  He says it\u2019s nice when teachers can afford to live in the community where they teach; a comment I find odd, unsure whether he\u2019s referring to suburban real estate or inner-city, Milton real estate or something else entirely.  I think of the dilapidated neighborhood I just drove through (not far from the section of I-85 set ablaze in March \u201917 by a homeless man with a lighter and a fuel load of seventy-six reels of DOT high-density polyethylene conduit and nine racks of fiberglass conduit) and I\u2019m stumped, at a loss for what to say next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Studies show that we rank fast and frequent talkers as more competent, likable, and even smarter than slow ones.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The Rotarian wanders off and I\u2019m thrown again when I see a Milton student, not my guy, but a song-and-dance man with the lead in our musical, Curtains.  <\/em>Turns out, he\u2019s Milton\u2019s co-STAR, tying my guy for top SAT score.  I had the two in the same physics class last year.  His mom looks familiar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe met on parent night,\u201d Mom says, \u201cI see you walking home from school.\u201d  She has cascading curls of red hair to match her personality – warm and inviting.  She\u2019s outgoing, and you\u2019d think her leading-man son the same, but if I had to label him, I\u2019d categorize his personality as shy extrovert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can be a shy extrovert, like Barbara Streisand, who has a larger-than-life personality and paralyzing stage fright\u2026<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In my class, he\u2019d hardly said boo.  A few weeks ago, Cheryl and I watched him play Cioffi, the Boston detective in Curtains<\/em>, where he affected a convincing pahk-the-cah-in-Hahvud-yahd accent, postured with the comedic timing of Sellers\u2019 Clouseau, and all the while carried a soulful, baritone tune.  Yet my personality assessment misses the mark – he hid my ascribed stage fright well.  Perhaps his physics classroom quiescence was due to a lack of theater friends (or not liking physics, or not connecting with his teacher) than his personality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every behavior has more than one cause.  When writers and journalists talk, they want to see a one-to-one relationship – one behavior, one cause.  But it\u2019s really important that you see, for behaviors like slow-to-warm-up, shyness, impulsivity, there are many routes to that.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Finally, I see my guy, maybe the quietest student I\u2019ve ever taught, walk into the lobby by himself.  He\u2019s confident, composed in a navy suit that adds four years.  A non-shy introvert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026a non-shy introvert like Bill Gates, who by all accounts keeps to himself but is unfazed by the opinions of others.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

His parents are parking the car.  \u201cFind the place ok?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Barely above a whisper, he says, \u201cMy mom got lost.\u201d  He grins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I direct my guy to the table of name tags, agonizing, irrationally, hoping his is there.  What\u2019s the matter with me?  Woody Allen may have said it best:  Early in life I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mom and Dad walk up, dressed nicely.  I ask, \u201cHow was the drive?\u201d  Mom says no problem, she commutes downtown daily.  Her answer does not compute, at odds with her son\u2019s got lost<\/em>, and just like that, I\u2019m hung up again, like the spinning wheel of a slow-to-process Mac.  A Rotarian ushers us to our dining seats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where do you fall on the introvert\/extrovert; shy\/anxious spectrum? Click here<\/a> for a short personality test.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d first learned of my STAR teacher status by email.  My first thought, is this for real?  A legitimate, unanticipated award notice by email?  My guy hadn\u2019t notified me. It was last year that I’d had him in class.  A week later, another email:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will you be attending?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I tracked down my guy, two doors down in AP Chemistry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our AP chemistry teacher had been honored as STAR teacher a few years ago.  \u201cDress nice.  People will be in suits,\u201d she advised, \u201cAnd prepare something to say.  Students say a few words about their teacher and teachers speak about their student.  Take the day off.  Enjoy it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Public speaking is the number-one fear in America, far more common than the fear of death.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sociobiologist E. O. Wilson posits the origin of public speaking anxiety as ancestral survival instinct.  Isolated on the savannah, having strange eyes on you meant that you were prey, a potential meal for an animal far swifter than you.  Now try being witty and charming at the podium, fearing that what\u2019s for dessert is you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I knew better than to wing it.  I prepared a few words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The emcee Rotarian takes the microphone, \u201cThe Georgia Chamber of Commerce created the STAR program in 1958, and has honored nearly 27,000 students and the teachers they have selected as the most influential to their academic achievement.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The emcee calls to the podium the student-teacher pairs listed on the breakfast program from Alpharetta, Banneker, Cambridge.  From the edge of my seat, I notice my guy on the edge of his.  The Alpharetta student steps to the mike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The type that is \u2018sensitive\u2019 or \u2018reactive\u2019 would reflect a strategy of observing carefully before acting thus avoiding dangers, failures, and wasted energy which would require a nervous system specially designed to observe and detect subtle differences.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

What would my guy say?  Could this calm, gentle-as-bended-grass, baby lamb even speak loud enough to be heard, let alone rip off a roaring speech to a pack of hungry lions?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Earlier, nibbling strips of bacon, he\u2019d let me know of his admission into Georgia Tech.\u00a0 I\u2019d written him a recommendation letter.\u00a0 I asked, \u201cIt\u2019s Tech then?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve applied to Duke.  Some Ivies.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHarvard?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d I said, \u201cHarvard has over 3500 applicants with perfect math SAT scores and only admits 2000 students annually.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know the statistics,\u201d Aayush perked up.  He put down his bacon and looked at me, \u201cThey\u2019re being sued for their admission policies.  They admit based on three criteria: academics, extra-curriculars, and personal qualities.  Asian-Americans score significantly lower on Harvard\u2019s personality tests.  Other personality tests show Asians score on a par with non-Asians.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wondered if Harvard admissions might be biased, favoring the more outgoing, extroverted applicants.  I am guilty of this, inviting students out of their shells to share their answers and thoughts and mental processes out loud, prodding, favoring the verbally engaged versus the silent, mentally engaged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We perceive talkers as smarter than quiet types – even though grade-point averages and SAT and intelligence test scores reveal this perception to be inaccurate.  In one experiment in which two strangers met over the phone, those who spoke more were considered more intelligent, better looking, and more likable.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

From the podium, students are thoughtful and sincere and say nice things.  Themes emerge.  Some pick teachers who inspire further study or make the arduous (think AP Calculus BC) less so.  Language Arts teachers, predictably, are recognized as inspirations (think \u2018Seize the day, boys\u2019).  Some teachers instill life lessons, run chess clubs, lead debate teams, sponsor field trips, build adolescent confidence or uncover an unknown talent; others provide a safe space to watch pro soccer streaming on a big screen at lunch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The students leave the podium, teacher in tow, where they receive certificates and pose in front of a big blue-and-gold Rotarian banner for photographs. Teachers are not asked to speak this year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My guy steps to the mike.  \u201cMy name is Aayush.  I picked Mr. Hogya, my AP Physics teacher, because of the time he puts into demonstrations and labs.  We shot marble launchers to study projectile motion.  We dropped bouncy balls from the second floor to study collisions.  And we walked long planks balancing a tray of water bottles perched on the end of a long stick to study torque and angular momentum.  I\u2019m pretty sure I got wet at the end of that one.\u201d  The line draws laughs, about to step away, Aayush adds, \u201cAnd I realized I could major in biomedical engineering rather than just something like biology.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a gentle way, you can shake the world. <\/em><\/p>Mahatma Gandhi<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

After the speeches, but before the group photo concluding the event, I have a minute to chat with Aayush\u2019s mom.  I express my gratitude and pleasure with her son\u2019s words, adding my relief, not having to give the speech that I\u2019d prepared for him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She squares up, arms folded, says, \u201cLet\u2019s hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many people, especially those in leadership roles, engage in a certain level of pretend-extroversion.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Dad turns to listen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere\u2019s this book titled, Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World That Can\u2019t Stop Talking<\/em>.  It\u2019s written by an introvert, popular with introverts, partial to introverts.  My guy Aayush is quiet, so quiet, the kids sitting near him in class last year got startled every time he blinked.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dad laughs.  From Mom – a marble statue, think Diana, Roman Goddess of the Hunt – I get nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-monitors are highly skilled at modifying their behavior to the social demands of a situation.  They look for cues to tell them how to act.  When a self-monitor makes a great speech, it\u2019s partly because they\u2019re self-monitoring every moment, continually checking their audience for subtle signs of pleasure or boredom and adjusting their presentation to meet their needs.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I remember to breathe and continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cQuiet\u2019s<\/em> message is this: introverts make good leaders too.  It\u2019s a matter of substance over style.  Forgive me then, while I finish with a word on my guy\u2019s style: he\u2019s a dashing deep-thinker; he\u2019s got a flair for deliberate attention; and the kid has such a chic analytical skill, so finely-tailored, I\u2019d be proud to wear it as my own.  Extroverts rule the world; introverts write their speeches.  One way or the other, Aayush could end up in the White House some day.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dad smiles proudly, says thank you.  Mom twists a grape from the twig on her plate and says, \u201cHe gets his physics from his Dad.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Outside on the polished steps, I hand my ticket to the valet, relieved to find singles in my wallet.  I scan the horizon.  There\u2019s a breeze, the morning light diffused.  I\u2019m left thinking my speech worked much better on paper.  Before driving home, I make a note in my journal: when practicing my next speech, visualizing the audience before me, be sure to include a mother, standing smack dab before me, arrow drawn, licking her chops.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deliver on that, I\u2019m free as a bird.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. The Town Mouse and The Country Mouse, Aesop’s Fables It\u2019s 7:05am, in a strange urban neighborhood, so I reluctantly valet unsure of my cash.  In the clubhouse lobby, well-heeled people mingle under a bright chandelier.  Kitchen staff in formalwear do not make […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=247"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":270,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247\/revisions\/270"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=247"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=247"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hojnotes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=247"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}